It is important for you to consider whether you have any concerns regarding the parents of the child next door. And if there is abuse in this neighbor’s life, having child protective authorities look into it may help protect all the children involved even more.
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However, a child’s safety really is a concern and the local professionals who deal with reports of a child at risk to be harmed can best assess the situation and make recommendations to the family about how to help their children. I realize that this is a potentially scary step and can complicate the relationship with these neighbors. Additionally, you may want to consider reporting your son’s report to your local child protection authorities. This would be another strong reason to speak with this boy’s parents as soon as possible. There is the added concern that your son disclosed this 8 year olds boy’s attempt to abuse his younger sister, and possibly abuse has already occurred. You may want to read a page from our Online Help Center on preparing for complex conversations as you think about having this conversation. There is also the additional question about where this boy’s behaviors originated and a possible question of abuse in his own life. Your conversation can focus on help in keeping all the children safe and responding to warning signs. So, it is strongly recommended that you inform this neighbor child’s parents about what you witnessed and what your son has disclosed. When an adult has information about a child’s problematic sexual behaviors, informing that child’s parents is the first step in getting that child help and in protecting all children involved. If your child had broken a rule or engaged in dangerous behavior while at a neighbor’s house, you would most likely want that neighbor to inform you as soon as possible about the behavior. Your son must feel very safe with you, and I imagine that he is very relieved to have you know. I’m glad that you immediately followed up with your son, asked the right questions and was able to support your son when he told you about this neighbor’s behavior.
I can well imagine how distressing this must be for you.